Saturday, July 18, 2009

When Addiction Strikes

Okay, so until about a week ago, I have never smoked in my life. But one night, about a week ago, I laid awake with a random urge. I needed a cigarette! It was so random and so intense at the same time. I went online, hoping I could stop the urge just buy watching someone else smoke. Made it worse. I took a toothpick, stuck it in my mouth, pretending it was a cigarette. It made it worse. To make it worse, my brother and his girlfriend always smoke so often that the scent was already implanted in my mind. Also, back when I was 14 I had made out with this creepy guy that was my brother's friend (not the guy I dated) whom I only spoke to for one night in my entire life and he smoked. I could taste the smoke in his mouth and forever the taste was implanted in me as well. It was horrible. I had the same addiction since that day but I bought myself some candy cigarettes at the mall to help soothe it. I also bought Kane a claw scratcher toy with a little yellow ball on top that he can bat around. He loves it so much. It's his reward for staying at home by himself. I feel so bad anytime I go somewhere because I leave him alone. Poor little kitty....


  1. I'm proud of you Kae. I'll buy you some candy cigs. :)

  2. thats great that you didnt smoke. many times i have had urges to smoke when i'm stressed. many of my friends smoke and they look so relaxed when they do. i have done the same, i have brought candy cigs or chewed on straws for example to take away that feeling. it worked. its better to do that then to start. if you start theres always the chance of getting addicted and not being able to stop. thats what i think about so it always stops me from starting.

  3. i'll buy you some too! (even though my dad's against them!) =]